Ryan Howard Starting Off HOT!

Annnnndddd here we thought weakly swinging at off-speed pitches with the force of how I punch in dreams was going to most frustrating thing about The Big Piece in his final year in Philly. Didn’t think we’d have to worry about him forgetting how to baseball. Like, really? That wasn’t even a pick or short hop situation. At least I can take solace in the fact that Howard probably made more money on that E-3 than I will in 4 lifetimes. Oh well.

BUT, Freddy Galvis did somehow smack a 2-run dinger to put the Phillies on top, 2-1 through 2. Good on him to use one of his four 2016 home runs on Opening Day. I smell 70 wins! CUE THE DRUNK HARRY!